Combining Wedding Traditions Across Cultures
Here’s a dilemma – he’s Catholic and I am Hindu, how do we accommodate out different cultures and traditions in our wedding and without offending our families?
These days mixed culture marriages are common place and different cultures and traditions can be mixed together in a legal wedding ceremony. What you need to do is find the right blend of customs and traditions that will work for you both.
If you want a religious service of any faith then you will need to talk to the ministers or officiants at the church or temple. However, before you meet with them it is a good idea to get together to discuss what you want between the two of you. Do you want a service that combines two faiths or two separate services – one for each faith? Each officiant will tell you what they are prepared to allow within their religion but you may face a few probing questions particularly about what faith any future children will adopt. You should also remember that you will still need to inform the local registrar and go through all civil preliminaries.
If you choose a civil wedding ceremony then you have more options. As a civil ceremony cannot have any religious reference you can get married without the worry that any customs or traditions from each others faiths are being ignored. Civil ceremonies do allow for you to introduce elements such as readings, vows and music so you could include some traditional elements from each faith that way.
A humanist wedding service will allow you to be far more personal with your wedding ceremony and enables you to express your beliefs in a non-denominational setting. You will need to combine this with a civil ceremony to make the marriage legal, but this can take place on another day if preferred.
Whichever option you decide on, you should sit down with your parents to discuss it first and to enlist their help, particularly if you want a religious service as they may have more sway with the officiant than you. What is important is that both sides of the families feel involved and that you celebrate both cultural traditions in an equal manner.
You should also advise your guests as to the style of the wedding and inform them of any particular protocols and customs. Put together wedding programs to be handed out to each guest on arrival and which explain any of the customs and traditions included in your service. You can also include a brief note with the wedding invitation so they know what to expect.
Take care when planning your catering as well. In some faiths there are dietary and religious requirements and you should also take note about certain spicy or unfamiliar foods. Find caterers who have experience of catering to a mixed culture wedding and who can advise you on the safest dishes to serve.
A wedding which combines two faiths and associated customs and traditions can be a wonderful experience, but you need to strike the right balance between the two and to make sure that people from both sides of the families are given the opportunity to mingle together and to enjoy the customs up close.
